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This was the state of the household to which Ralph Corbet came down
at Easter. He might have been known in London as a brilliant diner-out
by this time; but he could not afford to throw his life away in
fireworks; he calculated his forces, and condensed their power as
much as might be, only visiting where he was likely to meet men who
could help in his future career. He had been invited to spend the
Easter vacation at a certain country house which would be full of
such human stepping-stones; and he declined in order to keep his word
to Ellinor, and go to Ford Bank. But he could not help looking upon
himself a little in the light of a martyr to duty; and perhaps this
view of his own merits made him chafe under his future father-in-law's
irritability of manner, which now showed itself even to him.
He found himself distinctly regretting that he had suffered himself
to be engaged so early in life; and having become conscious of the
temptation and not having repelled it at once, of course it returned
and returned, and gradually obtained the mastery over him. What was
to be gained by keeping to his engagement with Ellinor? He should
have a delicate wife to look after, and even more than the common
additional expenses of married life. He should have a father-in-law
whose character at best had had only a local and provincial
respectability, which it was now daily losing by habits which were
both sensual and vulgarising; a man, too, who was strangely changing
from joyous geniality into moody surliness. Besides, he doubted if,
in the evident change in the prosperity of the family, the fortune to
be paid down on the occasion of his marriage to Ellinor could be
forthcoming. And above all, and around all, there hovered the shadow
of some unrevealed disgrace, which might come to light at any time
and involve him in it. He thought he had pretty well ascertained the
nature of this possible shame, and had little doubt it would turn out
to be that Dunster's disappearance, to America or elsewhere, had been
an arranged plan with Mr. Wilkins. Although Mr. Ralph Corbet was
capable of suspecting him of this mean crime (so far removed from the
impulsive commission of the past sin which was dragging him daily
lower and lower down), it was of a kind that was peculiarly
distasteful to the acute lawyer, who foresaw how such base conduct
would taint all whose names were ever mentioned, even by chance, in
connection with it. He used to lie miserably tossing on his
sleepless bed, turning over these things in the night season. He was
tormented by all these thoughts; he would bitterly regret the past
events that connected him with Ellinor, from the day when he first
came to read with Mr. Ness up to the present time. But when he came
down in the morning, and saw the faded Ellinor flash into momentary
beauty at his entrance into the dining-room, and when she blushingly
drew near with the one single flower freshly gathered, which it had
been her custom to place in his button-hole when he came down to
breakfast, he felt as if his better self was stronger than
temptation, and as if he must be an honest man and honourable lover,
even against his wish.
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